This week I have learned that there are about a gajillion things that can make you sick. Yesterday was Bug Day at work, where the illustrious leaders of the glamorous Infection Prevention and Control field stood up and told us about all the things that can kill us. Like listeria and Neisseria ghonnorhoae and Streptococcus pyogenes and Clostridium botulinum and … well… I could go on for hours (they did). In any case, I left the lecture feeling itchy and crawly and desperate for a bleach shower. During that time, I learned that

  • hot food must be kept above 70C (whatever that is) or it will poison you
  • cold food must be kept below 4C or it will poison you
  • uninspected meat could contain huge, purulent pockets of E. coli infection (I saw the photographic evidence)
  • leftovers that have been in your fridge longer than 3 days can kill you
  • wieners are a bad idea at any time
  • bottled water is no safer than tap water where I live and it puts more crap in the landfill and uses more non-renewable resources to transport it to the suckers who buy it (thanks for the legacy, folks)
  • bottled water is more expensive than milk, per cubic metre, but less expensive than scotch
  • any number of animal-borne infections can also kill you, not the least of which is the bite from a gaboon viper
  • it’s actually quite incredible that we ever make it through a day,with all the things out to get us

I’m off to a conference (here in town, unfortunately) for the next three days so I may have more learning to report by the end of the week.


On a totally different note, my son has had his first run-in with the law today.

Apparently he got caught with a bunch of other boys planning pranks for the new kid in the class. It seems the planned pranks were very mean, and this poor kid was very upset. Jack got busted along with the others and will have to face the principal on Friday – two whole days from now.

When we asked him about it, he claimed that the other boys were making the plans and he just happened to get caught with them (I tend to believe him). He said he is trying to think of a way to apologize to the kid. I did the typical how-would-you-feel thing and he answered appropriately. I asked how he felt about hanging around the mean kids and he said he was starting to hang around with other kids. He may be smarter than I thought. I’m really hoping this is a good lesson and he gets over the follower syndrome in a big hurry. The other kids really are snots, but that’s no excuse.

Aimee happened to hear the phone message that the teacher left and was utterly thrilled that her brother was getting in trouble. Her delight at his misfortune was pretty funny actually, but I forced myself to tell her it was none of her business.

He seems absolutely terrified about going to the principal’s office, as he should be. It’s poetic justice that it won’t be for 2 days, though. That wait will likely be punishment enough, so all I did was talk to him about the incident. He swears he will tell the teacher next time if it will keep someone from being hurt (thank you Barbara Colorosso).

Although I really hope I am not one of those parents who has their head in the sand about their child’s sociopathic tendencies, I honestly think he probably had very little to do with this. However, I certainly hope he develops a healthy respect for the law out of it. He seems like a kid who will actually be deterred by some “alternative recess” (whatever the hell that is). I think he is still transparent enough for us to be able to see through his stories, and although I’ve heard a few doozies lately, they have been harmless, and this relatively serious one seems genuine. I just hope that he also develops a little empathy out of the deal.

I guess it says something that we made it through 3+ years of school before having to deal with a principal’s office-worth infraction. Hopefully this is not the start of the descent into delinquency.

Thankfully, we also found out tonight that the delinquents are on the other hockey team… helps to limit contact with them. Needless to say, they won’t be coming to the next birthday party, nor will he be going to theirs…

We’ll see what happens on Friday. Hopefully he doesn’t get an ulcer by then. I know I would have… but then I wouldn’t have even thought about pulling pranks on another kid. Of course, maybe I was just a big nerd, but hey, nerds don’t have many brushes with the law, and besides, I turned out ok… I just hope Jack will. I’m sure we will look back on this and laugh, someday.

Hopefully the poor kid he bullied doesn’t go postal on us…


About therapeuticrambling

I am a wife, a mom, a nurse, a writer. I enjoy laughing.
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