Regret

Regret. I have none.

Judgment Day seems an approriate time to take a little stock, muse a bit on my life’s choices.

Being on the doorstep of my 40th birthday is a good reason, too, so even if we aren’t relegated to our Just Deserts at 6 pm, I figured it wasn’t too bad an idea to get some stuff down in writing.

I’ve done ok, in choices department. I have given it much thought lately, and there is not one major decision that I made in my life that I regret. Sure, I might have done a few more things (travel Europe? Run a marathon?), but I can’t think of anything that it’s really too late to do. At least nothing that it would be truly worth doing (I will probably never be an Olympian, but I’m pretty much ok with that).

I could never regret my choice of life partner – yes, we were pretty young, but that one has worked out perfectly. Not sure I even knew how much I knew back then, but it has been good. Great. Same with my education, career(s), my kids, major purchases… there is really nothing I can think of that I wish I had done differently. Nothing significant or irreversible, anyway.

I often wonder how I got so lucky. It would have been so easy to go another way, many times. But somehow I managed to keep my head on straight and do what would end up being the best thing.

Of course, you know I have some thoughts on that too.

I have always had a good sense of myself, of what I want, what I am willing to accept, and what I am not (I see that in Aimee, too, so that bodes well, I hope). I have always made a significant effort to maintain a good balance in my life – between work and home, between me and family, between effort and enjoyment. Between risk and safety. I’ve had enough adventures that I feel like I’ve lived fully (so far, I’m not done yet), without being stupid or irresponsible. I have managed to keep the right doors open just far enough.

Regardless of the reasons, though, I am thankful that I have made the choices I have.

Anyway, enough self-satisfied musing for now. I am going to enjoy a beer and wait for the Apocalypse. Should be a good show.

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About therapeuticrambling

I am a wife, a mom, a nurse, a writer. I enjoy laughing.
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