If you have ever wanted to step up your fitness routine, I suggest you consider adding Interval Training, doggie style. Training, according to Tucker:

Segment 1: WALK! OMG we’re going for a walk! Let’sgolet’sgolet’sgo! What are you waiting for? Distance: 50m; time: 9 sec; pace: 4:00 minute/mile.

Segment 2: WAIT! Something smells good! Distance: 1m; time: 47 sec; pace: 21 minute/mile.

Segment 3: OH RIGHT! WALKING! Distance: 50m; time: 23 sec; pace: 5:30 minute/mile.

Segment 4: FIRE HYDRANT! Distance: 0m; time: 19 sec; pace: 43:00 minute/mile.

Segment 5: SQUIRREL! Distance: 50m; time: 37 sec; pace: 5:14 minute/mile.

Segment 6: SOPHIE YOU BITCH I KNOW YOU PEED HERE YESTERDAY! Distance: 0.68m; time: 31 sec; pace: 38:00 minute/mile.

Segment 7: Watch out mailman, the woman on the other end of this leash is MY woman! Distance: 53m; time: 14 sec; pace:6:23 minute/mile.

Segment 8: Make way, gotta poop! Distance: (circular) 6m; time: 92 sec; pace: 27 minute/mile.

Segment 9: OMG THAT’S ROVER! I NEED TO GO TALK TO ROVER! Distance: 84m; time: 9 sec; pace: 3:25 minute/mile.

Segment 10: Hey, Rove. ‘Sup? Sorry, can’t talk. Gotta wait while my person puts her shoulder back in the socket. Distance: 8m; time: 23 sec; pace: 23 minute/mile.

Segment 11: SQUIRREL! Distance: 50m; time: 37 sec; pace: 5:14 minute/mile.

Segment 12: Oh hey, that’s my favorite tree! Better make sure everyone knows it’s mine! Distance: 0.75m; time: 42 sec; pace: 19:42 minute/mile.

Segment 13: Ooh, that lump of garbage on the sidewalk up ahead looks delicious! Distance: 75m; time: 9.5 sec; pace: 8:34 minute/mile.

Segment 14: Mmmm, sweet delicious puddle water! Distance: 0.5m; time: 48 sec; pace: 24:35 minute/mile.

Segment 15: Ooh, I sense something died in those bushes over there! Distance: 28m; time: 14 sec; pace: 5:42 minute/mile.

Segment 16: Jackpot! Fresh rabbit carcass! Nothing scratches the back like rabbit bones! Distance: 0.2m; time: 42 sec; pace: 34:02 minute/mile.

Segment 17: Hey, human, I wasn’t done wearing my new friend! Distance: 14m; time: 22 sec; pace: 10:55 minute/mile.

Segment 18: OOH, SOMETHING SHINY DOWN THE ROAD! Distance: 75m; time: 9 sec; pace: 4:52 minute/mile.

Segment 19: What do you mean, I stink, human? I smell better than you! Distance: 200m; time: 63 sec; pace: 10:00 minute/mile.

Segment 20: No bath, thank you. I think I’d prefer to stay here. Distance: 0m; time: pace: stopped.

Segment 21: OMG we’re going in the car! Letsgolet’sgolet’sgo! Hey, other human! Where did you come from?

And that is why running with Tucker is always on average at least 2 minutes/mile slower than without him.



About therapeuticrambling

I am a wife, a mom, a nurse, a writer. I enjoy laughing.
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One Response to Intervals

  1. David Kelly says:

    “Intervals” made me laugh. Maybe you could connect to the leash in a way that doesn’t pull your shoulder out of its socket when Tucker sees something interesting? Boxers really are like three-year-olds.

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